The Naked Truth

This post has nothing to do with cooking. Now that's out of the way, lets discuss nakedness.

Being naked is not exactly something I enjoy doing. For most of the time that I've had a mature body, I have been concerned with how much and what parts of it was showing. My nerves got worse as I got older. This is directly related to how long I had been using my eating disorder as a coping mechanism. The older I got, the longer I'd been eating disordered, and the more weight I had gained. The more I think about it, however, I really don't think it has to do with weight. I think a lot of women have insecurities about their bodies regardless of their size. If that's true, then the only reason I can see that my confidence would drop with age is a combination of experience and a lack of experience. Confused yet? As I experienced more reactions to my body, more comments about my appearance and more time seeing my body in a variety of different clothing types and situations, I formed a set of ideas about my body and shape. But that's not it. My lack of experience comes into play too. While I was busy getting self conscious, I stopped letting myself be free with my body. Here are some of my body rules: never wear clothes for comfort, never dance in front of others, no swimming, intimate moments must happen in the dark, never change in front of anyone, always wear pants to cover your legs, whenever possible wear a cardigan to cover your belly, always wear sleeves that cover your upper arms

So imagine my surprise when reflecting back on my week I realized that I had done almost everything on my "no" list. I wore shorts and a tank top to visit friends, changed outfits in front of two girl friends, went swimming in a a two piece, wore clothes that allowed me to be cool in the Texas heat regardless of appearance and DANCED IN A BRA AND UNDERWEAR WITH MY TWO BEST FRIENDS.

When I think about these accomplishments for the most part they seem pretty typical. All but one anyway. But the more I think about a world where three best friends can't have a great night out and come home to dance around in their underwear, the more I realize that would suck. So I don't care who judges us, I've decided that half naked dancing should and will be an important part of our weekly plans.

My arms my jiggle, my tummy has stretch marks, and I'm still a curvaceous girl. But in allowing myself to give ED the middle finger and experience my body in all of it's glory, I've realized that not only do I have two of the greatest friends in the world who accept my body the way it is, but also that I have a body that I accept the way it is.