First of all, I'm so happy to be back blogging! I am so excited to share what I've learned, both cooking and not. And I can't wait to try some new recipes!
If you have an eating disorder, or know someone who does (if you're reading this, chances are you are one of the two) there is something you should know. No matter how long you've been in recovery, or how good you get at pushing disordered thoughts out of your mind, Ed will still come knocking. If you are a supporter, this might come as a surprise. In fact, I am constantly asking myself when Ed is going to stop hanging around for breakfast. And when he's been gone a while and then comes back I'm always surprised. We were all doing fine without him, so why did he have to come back? My friends and I sometimes say, "Ed's been here a lot this week." And often enough, we aren't alone and Ed's been hanging around them too.
So why am I explaining this? Well, frankly, because Ed has been here a lot this past month. Contrary to what you might think, having Ed around doesn't just effect food. He definitely has a lot to say about food, but he also has opinions about my clothes, my makeup, what I'm doing during the day, who I'm talking to and what I'm saying. With Ed, there is no such thing and waking up, throwing on a t-shirt and taking your dog on a walk. You must first consider the perfect outfit for dog walking that is appropriate for the activity but still fashionable and most of all slimming. You must forget all together about the weather, and wear what covers your flaws. Then, after trying on each of the possible outfits and examining yourself in the mirror, you must do your hair and makeup to hide any of those flaws. After all that, you should consider who you might see while out on your walk and what they might say or do. There are a million possibilites , and you should have a response for each of them. If your neighbor says, "hello!" you should respond nicely while quietly reading their mind and figure out what they really mean. Does "hello!" actually mean, "wow, your a little too fat to be out walking your dog" or does it mean "why did I have to run into you today" or can it simply mean "hello!"?
I guess the point is, that living with Ed is a lot more work than it might seem. And when he's here I often really struggle to see that his demands really are ridiculous. Writing them out, like I did above, really helps me see the truth, and get back to what is important. Which for the above senario is getting my dog out on her morning walk.
This week I am going to be starting a new semester of College. After taking a semester off for eating disorder treatment, I am incredibly nervous for all the new challenges ahead. I know that Ed will be hanging around a lot those first days, and my goal is to remember that his demands are insane, to stick to my food plan, and to have fun regardless of how silly I might look. Since I'll be commuting from my apartment, I'm going to be packing my lunch every morning and eating on campus. Keep on the lookout for a future post about packing lunch/dinner.
Now I'm off to cook dinner for two. I'll be making this recipe from the food network for a healthy version of fettucinne alfredo: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/low-cal-fettuccine-alfredo-recipe/index.html
With that, we are having roasted broccoli, and grilled chicken. The broccoli recipe can be found on my previous post "cooking with kelly": http://cookingwithed.blogspot.com/2011/06/cooking-with-kelly.html
Enjoy!
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